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Working with your Dad
The best compliment you could pay me would be to say I'm just like my Dad. Having survived the Great Depression and a four year European tour during WWII, a couple of bouts with cancer and various other body part replacement, he has what you would call character. He devotes a lot of his time caring for my mother (a stroke victim) and he is going concern at age 89.
One trait I can safely say I share with my role model/hero is that we both compelled to make stuff both for function and creativity. Dad was never afraid to build or fix anything and he planted in me a confidence to do so as well. Through his encouragement and nurturing as well as his patience with me using all his tools and making a big mess,he indirectly got me into the woodworking business.
My Dad was and still is an artist doing commercial art, architectural renderings and fine oil and watercolors paintings. Working out of his garage, I built some furniture for Dad's art studio which his artist friends took interest in and placed orders with me. Thus began my woodworking career at age 14. I also toyed with the idea of becoming a motorcycle mechanic having restored an antique Harley Davidson before I had my driver's license, but that's another story.
Dad was complaining about the high cost of moldings for making his picture frames and I jumped at the chance when he asked if we could make some moldings in my shop. So the two of us spent a whole day together ripping and planing and running sticks through the shaper. We also fixed a few things. Dad has done a lot of carpenter work and furniture building although never professionally. He is a great helper in the shop even at his age.
When we were all done he had enough molding for 30 or 40 frames. Of course he insisted on paying for everything. I lied about how much I paid for the wood and charged him $1 per bd, ft. instead of $4 that it cost me, and then I charged him $5 per hour for shop time and rounded it out to $100 even. We both went away totally satisfied with the day's events.
Working together with Dad, it doesn't get any better.
Bret
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Amen (post #155541, reply #1 of 11)
Bret,
Your relationship with your dad sounds incredibly similar to my own. Of course the details are different but the essence is the same. I spent a large portion of my childhood sitting on his workbench "helping", and it just grew from there.
The main difference is that my father died 13 years ago, and I'm constantly wishing that I could still share with him projects, challenges, new techniques, etc. I would give anything, anything, to spend one more Saturday together with him in the shop.
So do me a favor...before it's too late, thank him and tell your dad how much it means to you.
regards,
David Ring http://www.touchwood.co.il/?id=1&lang=e
Good advice David, (post #155541, reply #2 of 11)
Good advice David, thanks,
Bret
Bret & David , (post #155541, reply #3 of 11)
Bret & David ,
My Father was in the tire business his whole life never did anything else , at about 8 years of age I started working at the tire shop .After high school I worked in tire sales and service but always had an interest in tools and woodwork .
Unfortunately my Father did not possess the ability to create with his hands , sales were his strong suit and I learned well .
While growing up and working for my Father we really did not get along that well , now I realize it may have been because we are so alike in many ways .Dad passed on about 4 years ago . Even though we were not all that close and never became best friends I miss him and wish things could have been better between us .
Now my son is 18 years old and amazingly he already knows more than all of us put together , or at least he thinks he does. I want things to be better then with my Dad but young son is chip off the old block and just as stubborn as me .My hope is before I die I see my son do well and maybe realize what life is all about .
I envy you who have had the Father I have tried to be , wish my son felt the same way .
And I agree with David , don't wait to let your Father know how you feel .
regards , d
I envy you who have had the Father I have tried to be... (post #155541, reply #8 of 11)
I envy you who have had the Father I have tried to be , wish my son felt the same way .
We never have to pick out our father or mother OR our children.. I think a good thing in most cases..
My son never liked my woodshop but he like sports which I did not like for some reason.. I was the little boy that was hit with a bat in the head and had the winning ball hit me in the face,, Our team lost..
..Unfortunately my Father did not possess the ability to create with his hands..
I never knew my father because he was killed during WWII. Along with 9? other men.. We all do diferent things during life.. I have worked with many media. I would think your father had very special abilities other than his hands,, He used his mind and math?
My son turned out to be a very wonderful man.. He now has to work with his hands to keep his family with food to eat..
He will call sometimes for advice he never wanted to hear about when he was younger,,,,
special abilities... You are a good father for not forcing your child to do anything he/she did not want to do.. We are all the same but very different. We look about what makes each happy on each day we wake up in real life.;..
Have a great day.. Life is wonderful even if you are having a bad day!
Bret: (post #155541, reply #4 of 11)
I never knew my father. He died in WWII. I had two step-fathers that were really nice guys but did nothing with me. Not that they did not try. They were into sports and I liked making things. I did have a wonderful school teacher in metal shop.
My old grandfather (Artillary Officer in WWI) was a maker of things but not fond of me being inside his shop.. Although sometimes he would let be watch him work if he was in a good mood. I think WWI really got to him.. Not sure. He was rarely a happy person. Not mean to me in any way.. Just hardly ever smiled...
He would talk to me about things he did and how he did them but always outside of his shop. I learned alot from him just listening to him.. After he finished talking to me.. He always had a smile for me.... I never saw him smile at anybody else...
EDIT: None of my daughters or my son wanted anything to do with my shop or the computers I had many of to teach them about.. I never forced them about anything but being good children,,,, All are adults now and I think they are the best!
My oldest granddaughter (lives with me, off and on) will come into my shop to draw something onto a 'stick' I want to cut out on the bandsaw.. She hates the smell in my shop? Maybe it is me and not the wood? Not sure..?
I have a neighor boy that loves my shop but he is autistic and just wants to take some wooden dowels I have stacked up for him in a hunk of PVC pipe... I get a hug from him when he brings them back after his play...
I cannot teach him anything except that this old man loves him for what he is... He is a joy when he comes. Maybe someday he will talk to me?
Have a great day.. Life is wonderful even if you are having a bad day!
give it time (post #155541, reply #5 of 11)
Dusty,
Five years from now your son will appreciate you for the genius that you are.
There were times when I was younger that I thought my Dad was pretty lame. As I matured and gained wisdom It became obvious that I was the lame one.
Dad and I are pretty close and we share a lot of interests. We are both well aware of the love and respect we have for one another.
best regards, Bret
Dad (post #155541, reply #6 of 11)
Bret,
That was a very moving post. Print it and save it for future generations. They will learn to appreciate the positives of father-son relationships and yours in particular.
You are blessed with a great relationship - and in particular - you know it when you see it, now, not later.
Frosty
Dad (post #155541, reply #7 of 11)
What a great story, Bret. Sounds like a perfect day.
Sorry for the late response. I don't stroll into the Cafe on every visit to the site.
What a great story.. (post #155541, reply #9 of 11)
I will post again.. To keep this post going for about 3000 others...
We all love our children and they seem to wander off from what 'We want them to be'.. I think wandering off is a good thing..
Have a great day.. Life is wonderful even if you are having a bad day!
Don't forget mom. (post #155541, reply #10 of 11)
My dad was a brilliant man. Doing things by hand just seemed beyond him. In the 50s, when the electric knife came out, he couldn't stop sawing it back and forth. Just push it thru the turkey we would say. It was my mom who could take measurements off a broken Adirondack chair and then go and build a new one. She had me rewiring AC plugs at age 5. I have great memories of both of them and never ever knew them to have a fight.
I didn't forget Mom but she (post #155541, reply #11 of 11)
I didn't forget Mom but she is a whole other story. Raised on the cattle ranch my Great Grandfather and Grandmother homesteaded in 1880 after immigrating from Ireland. Mom is a hard working feisty Irish red head who always complemented my good points and encouraged my creativity and taught me about unconditional love during my youthful period of rebellion. She has been slowed a bit by a stroke but is still feisty and opinionated, god bless her.
Bret