Christmas jokes you can tell your family

Q. What do elves learn in school?
A. The Elf-abet.
 
Q. What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?
A. Frostbite
 
Q. Why does Santa have three gardens?
A. So he can ho-ho-ho.
 
Q. Why do birds fly south in the winter?
A. Because it's too far to walk.
 
Q. What kind of bird can write?
A. A PEN-guin.
 
Q. What do you call a cat on the beach at Christmas time?
A. Sandy claws
 
Q. How do sheep in Mexico say "Merry Christmas"?
A. Fleece Navidad
 
Q. What nationality is Santa Claus?
A. North Polish
 
Q. Why does Santa's sled get such good mileage?
A. Because it has long-distance runners on each side
 
Q. What do you get if you deep fry Santa Claus?
A. Crisp Cringle
 
Q.What did Santa shout to his toys on Christmas Eve?
A. OK, everyone, sack time
 
Q.What do snowmen eat for breakfast?
A. Snowflakes
 
Q. Why did the elf push his bed into the fireplace?
A. He wanted to sleep like a log
 
Q. Why does Santa come down the chimney?
A. Because it soots him
 
Q. What do you call people who are afraid of Santa?
A. Claustrophic
 
Q. What goes  ho, ho, swoosh, ho, ho, swoosh?
A. Santa caught in a revolving door.
 
Q. Why does Scrooge love Rudolph the red-nosed raindeer?
A. Because every buck is dear to him
 
Q. Why don't you ever hear about Olive, the 10th reindeer?
A. Yeah, you know..."Olive the other reindeer, used to laugh and call him names"
 
Q. Why is Christmas just like a day at the office?
A. You do all the work and the fat guy with the suit gets all the credit.
 
Q. What's a good holiday tip?

A. Never catch snowflakes with your tongue until all the birds have gone south for the winterFriends,

some of these are pretty lame, but at least you can tell them to your kids and grandkids, and great grandkids.

Hope you are having a great Christmas season, given that it is almost two months long now.   :-)

Mel